It only took a few days into being alcohol-free for me to realize that everything in my entire life had seemed to slow down. I mean slow down so much that I thought I was going to DIE of boredom.
So much time I spent thinking about drinking, thinking about not drinking, recovering from a hangover, planning my next drink. Suddenly, I had a LOT more space in my head. Empty space. I would catch myself thinking about not needing to think about drinking. I would catch myself wanting to drink when I got bored and I would remind myself that’s not what we do anymore.
In the beginning, one thing I loved about my new sobriety was all the extra time that I got back and the one thing I hated about my new sobriety was all the extra time I got back. It was difficult at first to see the opportunity instead of what it felt like, BORING. A BORING LIFE SENTENCE. Could there be anything worse?
Slowly, I adjusted to my new normal and stopped fighting my “poor me.” I figured I needed to fill that time and space up with something else, since drinking was no longer an option. I actually had to dig deep to figure out what it was that I liked to do.....other than drink. It wasn’t easy!!
I was never a reader; I became a voracious reader. I was never a writer, I now run a blog on three different platforms and have been published in magazine journals 11 times. I took singing lessons for the first time. I’ve always wanted to have just one or two songs I could confidently belt out just for fun. I enjoy paint by number canvasses and started walking the dog much more after dinner time. I have a passion for landscaping and gardening and making my home look as nice as possible.
My life is now filled with things that I enjoy doing and that feed my soul. I created new healthy habits and routines that make me feel good. I started taking better care of myself, drinking alcohol is NOT self-care.
For a long time, I thought that alcohol was the one thing that was keeping me going. Come to find out, it was the one thing that was holding me back.